Procrastination

This is not a food review blog post. This blog suppose to be a food review blog, but I have some inspiration, or I would said in the mood to write something about procrastination

Before that, please say hi if you saw my blog so that I actually know someone is reading, if you don't say hi is fine too :) Glad that you are interested in reading my blog. 

Yesterday, I read my old blog (its private), It's funny how I never changed since then, almost very blog post I complain about how was I been an unproductive day/lazy/procrastinate and all the negatives complaint about myself. 

I would say I am the same as I was before, still lazy as always. I even asked my mother, am I like that? She said "sometimes but you are very stubborn too". I then conclude myself "i guess I'm just born to be like that?" Let it be? 

At times, I just let it go, but at times, I hate myself being like that. I like to analyse my small little things, my doing everyday,how I treat other people today. I guess I'm a little bit over perfecting myself? Many people thinks it's good you think that way or you should looking at yourself more. But what if you analyse too much until you are not happy about everything you do. You care about what other people feel or say about you, you are living in standard that society wants. I'm not happy. Definitely. 

Now, I starting to see the point why. Because I'm afraid of failure. Yes, very fear, I'm scared of failing. Definitely something to do with my self-esteem. I'm afraid to fail so I choose to procrastinate. Never think of these 2 words will linked together, which are procrastinate and failure 

I like to analyse my small little actions everyday. I know the worse case scenario of everything, I always found some flaws in me and other people. I hate to be in that place, in the worse place. I will be depressed. I will be hiding myself in my room, I will not talk to people. Imagine you put so much afford on something and you failed, you are at your lowest place in your life. Who doesn't hate that? I know I CERTAINLY DO HATE THAT.

I rather do nothing on the thing that I want to achieve because I know, the more afford I put in, the more I care and the more I afraid to fail. So, I choose to do nothing and I fail nothing. 

Finally. I know myself more. 

Recently, I just graduated. Should be something that my family and I proud of. I even step out my first online business. Like finally, for thinking of doing this for so long. Its not easy, especially everyone nowadays can do it easily, like really really easy. Entry level is very low , haha accounting student words are coming out. Very competitive. This should reserve for another blog post, cause online business has so many to talk about.

Now, I always tell myself, put your best into it. Thinking of the worse case scenario helps me to realise that it's not that bad after all. If fail my business, yes I lose money, but will I die from hunger? I realise my family will not kick me out of my house and become a homeless girl. It's not that bad after all.

Applying the same theory into everything that I do, It's helps me. Imagine when you dating a guy/girl, you are not putting effort or makes another person happy or very demanding on him/her, it will not last. Even it last, one person will be very tiring. I would do my best to make another person happy, what if he dump me? Just thinking about it, it just scary. I will cry for sure, that's the worse case scenario. I will cry and hide myself a few days/months/years. But, never regret of making another person happy because I tried and will the same to the next person I love until the right person treat you right. 

I hope to help people who are reading this too, if not helping, its fine too, we all different and unique in their own way. 

When you are passionate, you will not feel tired at all. Keep on going, and last longer. Passion makes you keep going, even you know you might fail one day. No regrets. 

Sign off, 
Jane 

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